Going for a Trip Upstate

I like going on little trips now and then. Recently, Nicole and I made a trip up to Buffalo. Now, it’s not like there’s all kinds of stuff to do there that there isn’t to do where we live, but it gives us an excuse for a change of scenery and to just get out of the usual habits we have at home…the same restaurants, the same activities, and so forth.

Plus, I’m not going to lie, I like taking little trips because I get to drive on the freeway or highway for awhile. Hey, I make no bones about the fact that I’m a car nut, and it kills me to drive my BMW M3 around the city instead of getting out where I can actually drive it with some speed. Driving fast is relaxing to me; I swear, I should have been a race car driver. Perhaps in another life, right?

Anyway, we just kind of checked out the local scene and did some things we hadn’t done the last time we were in Buffalo. We went to an art gallery and I was surprised by some of the local talent there. You would think that New York based artists would naturally gravitate toward New York City (and for the most part that’s true), but there are some really talented folks in Buffalo, too.

I would have preferred to stay in a really nice hotel, as I love amenities and comfort, but Nicole wanted to try a little bed and breakfast, instead. So, that’s what we did, but the whole idea is still a bit creepy to me. I mean, having people just stay in your house? I suppose that I should say it was nice, but I didn’t feel entirely comfortable there, even though the people who run it were very welcoming and friendly.

Habits of Others I Can’t Stand

I don’t generally like to complain, but there’s a guy at work that I have a hard time getting along with. He’s not a bad person or anything, he’s just a little lazy. He always seems to see the negative side of everything, which could be seen as being “realistic”, but he uses these negative things as excuses for him to lower his already limited amount of effort. Oh, it’s rainy out, so we’re not going to sell any cars, so I’ll sit in my office and play games on the computer, he’ll say. Well, that customer had it out for me to begin with, so I didn’t bother explaining the features of that car to them, he’ll say.

Anyway, this gets me thinking about some habits that I can’t stand. I know it’s ironic, given the nature of this blog entry, but I can’t stand relentless complaining. I try to look at the bright side of everything. If there’s something I don’t like, I don’t waste my energy complaining; instead I get to fixing it as well as I can right away.

Another thing I have trouble with, like I said earlier, is laziness. Laziness is the most motivating thing to me. When I was injured in college from playing soccer and couldn’t get around much for awhile, I couldn’t believe that people can be okay with leading sedentary lifestyles. I couldn’t wait to heal up and get up and about again! Just the same, I don’t understand people who don’t give a good effort at their jobs. How are you going to get anywhere without trying?

Effort is one of those things in life that is an unlimited resource, so take advantage of it. You’re not going to run out of energy anytime soon, so don’t be afraid to use it!

The Will to Succeed

One thing that I want to talk about is something that is very important to me: the will to succeed. To understand why I’m such a determined individual, you have to understand my family background. My father was an unskilled laborer in Puerto Rico who was able to scrape by, save some money by working double and triple shifts, and open his own restaurant. That restaurant is where I had my first job starting when I was just 8, although it wasn’t a real job where I got paid and worked tons of hours. I just helped out there washing dishes and bussing tables, but it taught me to have a good work ethic.

My dad wanted us to go to America and enjoy the opportunities here, which are opportunities that he was not raised with. I saw the fact that the limited opportunities that he was afforded while he grew up had therefore limited his possibilities as an adult. He basically had to work twice as hard because no one gave him the advantages that he and my mother helped to give me.

As a result, I don’t take things for granted. Instead, I drive to succeed at whatever I decide to do. I’ve got kind of an old-fashioned mentality in that I think anything that is worth doing is worth doing well. Whether I’m selling a car, doing house work or playing solitaire on my phone, I want to do my best because otherwise, what’s the point?

Some may call this kind of outlook crazy, but to me, it’s the only way to be. I can’t imagine drifting through life like some people seem to be content to do. I don’t want things to happen TO me, I want to make things happen in my own world as well as in the worlds of others. Otherwise, I wouldn’t really be living.

Poker Night at the De Bono House

I like to have a regular poker night with the guys, and last weekend we decided to have one at my house. We generally trade off, but I like hosting because then if we have a few drinks I don’t have to drive or limp home late at night when I’m tired. These games become marathon sessions sometimes, so home court advantage is a nice thing to have! The guys like to joke around that I have a series of mirrors or cameras hidden to see their cards, but I cannot confirm nor deny any of those vicious rumors.

Armando and Steven came by, as did Philip, Julio, and Frankie. They’re pretty much the usual guys that play, although my friend Tavian wasn’t able to make it. Anyway, I did alright. We only throw in about $20 a piece, so it’s not exactly a high stakes game, it’s more for the fun of playing and the ability to talk trash to one another when we bluff someone out of a pot or win a big hand. I finished with $60, so I did well, but not as well as Armando.

Armando had his luck going, so Lil’ Loco was in full effect on this night. He pulled so many hands on the river, including a full house that beat my Steven’s two pairs and sent him packing. Steven had gone all in and appeared to be winning with his Kings and 7s against Lil’ Loco’s Jacks and 10s until that final 10 came out. You should have seen the look on Steven’s face! He’s a sore loser, which makes it all the more amusing.

Anyway, I feel like if I was better at math I could be a professional poker player. I’m excellent at reading people, and I have my friends’ playing styles down pat. However, figuring out some of the probabilities and odds like they do at the highest level is a bit daunting. Therefore, I’ll stick to my friendly games for now.

Bet You Didn’t Know Tomas Could Cook!

Let me tell you, I am full of surprises. While you may think that I’m just a regular guy who likes to drink beer, play poker, talk about cars, and so forth (and all of that is true), there is much more to Tomas De Bono than just that! No, I can also do other things too, like cook.

That’s right, I’m a rare thing: a man who can really cook! In my household, my mom made it clear that we would all learn to cook as it was an important skill to learn. I was making several course meals for my family by the time I was 15, as a result. It was important for us to learn because not only would we have to obviously cook for ourselves as adults, but we would also need to take turns at home while growing up to take some of the pressure off of Mom.

Once my dad died and we moved to New York, Mom had to work to support us and wasn’t always home for dinner. Sometimes, us kids would be busy with studies or activities, so who would cook would be a matter of who was around and available to do it. I loved cooking, so I would often volunteer. We’d have American food like cheeseburgers off of the grill, basic stuff that was easy to make, but also traditional Latin food that reminded us of Puerto Rico, too. Lots of beans and rice, for sure!

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to expand my horizons. I can cook a lot of dishes including Italian food (more for Nicole’s sake than mine, since she loves Italian food), Peruvian food (I love their take on Chinese dishes), and so on. Cooking never gets old to me, and unlike with other hobbies, you get to eat the results. What more could you want?

Taking Dance Lessons

I have always been what I would call a pretty good dancer. I try to be modest, but since you aren’t here to watch me demonstrate and evaluate my ability fairly for yourself, I have to say that I’m pretty good. Not the greatest, but I’ve always had rhythm and I’ve got the whole Puerto Rican thing going as far as being able to move my hips. Hey, it’s true…I’ve got great hips! The ladies love it, don’t you know!

Anyway, my girlfriend and I have recently decided to start bachata dancing. I’ve always been more of a salsa person myself, but bachata has been a lot of fun, too. We are a few lessons in and I think we’re both getting to be a lot better at it. Some of it comes naturally to me, but other parts are a bit of work.

Doing stuff like this together is a lot of fun. I can’t imagine being one of those couples that you hear about who just sit on the couch together watching TV. Sure, sometimes that kind of thing is nice, renting movies and just relaxing together or whatever, but every night? No way!

Having active hobbies together do a lot for you as a couple. They keep you both in shape, they give you a new experience to talk about, and they help you to bond in a certain way. I have a friend who plays on a recreational ice hockey league team with his wife. Hey, that seems to work well for them. It’s kind of like their date night, and they both still have all of their teeth, so what can you say? Good for them.

As we grow as a couple, I’m sure we’ll find new things to do, as well. For now, bachata has been a lot of fun, and unlike salsa dancing, we are on equal footing since I had never really done it before now. With salsa, I was experienced and she wasn’t, so it was a lot different.

Chilling at the House

I don’t have a whole lot new to report today, dear blog readers. Honestly, I’ve been kind of a lazy guy today, just hanging around the house. I did get a few projects done, including taking care of the leaky sink in our upstairs bathroom. For a long time, we kept the door closed because the occasional drip could get annoying when you’re trying to sleep, but I finally made it a priority to get it done, which is good. Nicole was pleased, of course.

Other than that, I bummed around on the computer a little bit. I enjoy playing blackjack online from time to relax, so I did that for awhile and even won a little money. I checked my e-mail and chatted with a friend from high school on Facebook. After that, it was all the inactivity I could stand, so I went for a little jog.

Nicole has been saying we should get a dog, because she says the house is kind of boring when I’m working weird hours selling cars or out hanging with my friends. I’m kind of torn on the whole thing. I wonder if it’s a case of her wanting kids but not being ready to take that particular plunge, so “settling” for a dog? The thing is, it’s a pain if you need to go out of town on a trip or something, because you have to have someone come feed the dog or let it outside, and so forth.

Anyway, I suppose we’ll see how it works out. I wouldn’t mind having a dog, even though I never had one growing up, so the whole concept is kind of alien to me. I can see the appeal, I suppose, but I think some people are “pet people” and some aren’t. I’m kind of in the middle when it comes to them.

Date Night with Nicole

I took Nicole out for a little surprise date night the other night. Now, we are friends with some couples that have children, and they rarely get the chance to go out together as a couple like they used to. I think that they assume that we get the chance to do so all the time because we have no children yet, but that is not always the case. Nicole and I are both very busy with work a lot of the time as well as other commitments due to our interests or hanging out with friends and family, so we have to make spending time together as a couple a priority, just like anyone else would.

Anyway, I picked her up from work as a surprise and had already made reservations at her favorite restaurant. This restaurant serves Italian food, which is not really my favorite, but I know she loves it and we hadn’t been there in awhile. The smile on her face made it all worthwhile, and I have to say that my linguine was not bad at all. Pasta gives you a lot of carbs, but I can see the appeal, too.

Afterward, we had some cocktails and then decided to go out salsa dancing. Salsa dancing has always been something we both enjoy, although when we first got together she had never done it before. We took some lessons, even though I maintain that I could have taught her (she says I don’t have the patience to be a good teacher, but I will never admit to such a flaw!).

All in all, it was a great night. We stayed out a little late and I paid for it a bit the next morning, but you only live once, right? I had some coffee and made it through work with a smile on my face, nonetheless.

A Little About My Car

Since I don’t have any kids or pets, my car is my baby. I told you earlier in a blog that I drive a BMW M3. Now, I didn’t say it to brag, and I know there are more expensive cars out there, faster cars, and everything else. For me and others who work in car sales, telling people what you drive is more about just introducing yourself. “Hi, I’m Tomas, and I drive a BMW M3.” To those who love cars, your car can say a lot about you.

What does my car say about me? Well, it’s a nice car, but it’s also a sensible one. It’s not a full-on sports car like what I drove when I was younger. Furthermore, it’s got a little bit of a luxury feel to it. As I get older, I want some of the extras and comfort that I just would have taken for granted as a younger man. Finally, while I would call it a sensible car, it also has some power to it. I do like driving fast cars; I’m a man, after all! It’s nice to be able to get up to speed quickly on the freeway and feel a bit of power when I push the gas pedal.

I got this car two years ago, and the hype surrounding it was pretty big among car fans like myself. I remember reading in Motor Trend magazine that it was called the “world’s greatest car” by one person in particular. They talked about how it was a well-rounded car, and I think that in that way, it does symbolize me. I think of myself as a well-rounded person, after all.

Anyway, I won’t go on anymore about my car, but as I said before, it is my baby, and I do believe that what you drive says a lot about you.

My History with Sports

I mentioned in my last blog that my friends and I visited a sports bar. Now, I don’t actively play sports anymore, but I used to be quite the athlete. I even had a number of college scholarship offers to play both soccer and tennis. It’s funny to think of that now, because neither of them are considered very manly sports in the United States, and now most of the sports I enjoy are contact sports, such as American football, boxing, and mixed martial arts.

Anyway, I played both soccer and tennis at NYU, both because it was not far from home (family is too important for me to go to some of the other colleges I was offered scholarships from down South) and because they offered me scholarships in both sports, while some other schools just wanted me for one or the other.

Unfortunately, I tore my ACL in late in my junior year in soccer and some setbacks in rehab meant that I didn’t play either sport my senior year. I could have taken what is called a medical redshirt and played one more season, but I opted not to. I finished my degree in four years, after all, and I wasn’t going to hang out on campus for another year just to play sports, as much as I loved to play them.

Since then, I’ve stayed pretty active and have learned to box a little bit, as well as playing some recreational soccer in indoor soccer leagues in the area. I still have some problems with my right knee from time to time, but staying active is important to me and I love the physical aspect of playing sports. Today, with all of the technology we have and everything, it’s important to retain a connection to the physical aspects of life, and sports help me do that.